Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Forgiving Friendships

Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming with his four hundred men. He divided the children between Leah and Rachel and the two maidservants. He put the maidservants out in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. He led the way and, as he approached his brother, bowed seven times, honoring his brother. But Esau ran up and embraced him, held him tight and kissed him. And they both wept. (Genesis 33:1-4, MSG))

We have one Starbucks in town. OK, two if you count the one in Safeway. But as far as a for real, walk in and sit down Starbucks, there's one. I think the reason we women gravitate toward coffee houses is just as much for the chance to meet a friend and socialize as it is for the energy-boosting, get-you-through-the-day benefits of the caffeine itself.

Today was one such day for me. A very dear friend and I met. We talked, we laughed and we caught up on each other's lives. We also shed some tears as we talked through some hurts, offered forgiveness and restored the closeness in our friendship. It wasn't the first time for me; I had a very similar experience two years ago in that very same Starbucks. Different friend, different table, different set of circumstances, same coffee house, same kind of latte.

God created us women as emotional beings. For that reason, we love deeply, we invest deeply, we share deeply and we care deeply. However, we also hurt and get hurt easily. That's just us; we're emotional. When we hurt someone, or are hurt by someone, it's easy for us to avoid the relationship rather than correcting it. We don't always find it easy to be vulnerable and honest, and we don't find it easy to confront. We instead find it easy to run away or to harbor resentment. Then, as time goes by, we find ourselves missing the friendship that has been severed or altered.

The Bible is full of examples of how the power of forgiveness is able to restore close relationships. Jacob was so afraid of how Esau would react to his apology that he came up with a game plan for protecting his family, if necessary. However, it was not needed. As soon as Esau saw Jacob, he came running toward him with arms open wide and a heart full of forgiveness and joy. There are similar stories with Joseph and his brothers (Genesis 45), with Moses and his siblings (Numbers 12), and on and on and on.

I am so grateful that God has blessed me with friendships that have been through the wringer and back. We have a solid foundation because we've been able to be human, forgive each other, and move on.

Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32, MSG)